Heart and soul
by MarlleneMilton
Summary: Bilbo spends his last moments with Thorin. The lyrics are from Goodbye my lover by James Blunt


Both Bilbo and Thorin knew they held deeper affections for each other than friendship. But for a dwarf, it was unspeakable to be in a relationship with someone out of the dwarven race. Everyone was bound by this law, especially the king. They both agreed it was better to keep what they felt to themselves. The less they talked about it, the less it would hurt. Thorin wanted Bilbo to stay in Erebor, but he couldn´t. It would be better for them to be away from each other when they couldn´t be together.

_And love is blind and that I knew when,__  
__My heart was blinded by you._

40 year later Bilbo got seriously ill. When it was clear he wouldn´t recover, Frodo decided to inform the king about Bilbo´s condition and that his time was running out. Bilbo once told him about his feelings for Thorin and their sad story. When he couldn´t spend his life with the king, Frodo wanted to give him a chance to see his love one last time. He could only hope that Thorin would come and that he would make it in time.

Bilbo couldn´t walk anymore. He spent his days lying in bed waiting for the inevitable. Today he was having a particularly wonderful dream. He was sitting with Thorin on a soft grass with spring flowers everywhere around them. The dwarf took some of them and started braiding them into his curls. Then he put his strong arms around his chest and buried his face in his hair. They were silent, simply enjoying each other´s presence. Bilbo felt like he´s never been happier.

_You touched my heart you touched my soul.__  
__You changed my life and all my goals._

"Bilbo"

Thorin was gently tracing his face with his fingers. He turned to look at him, but the dwarf wasn´t there anymore. He looked around and there were no flowers either and the air suddenly got chilly.

"Bilbo"

He heard Thorin again. Then the meadow disappeared completely and he was back in his house, back in his soft bed. His whole body ached, but there was something extremely calming that he couldn´t identify. When he finally opened his eyes, he couldn´t believe what he saw. He must have still been in the dream. On the edge of his bed was Thorin looking at him with a sad smile and his thumb slowly stroking Bilbo´s cheek.

"Thorin?" he whispered still not believing his eyes.

"Yes, my hobbit. I´m here."

Bilbo felt the happiness from the dream coming back to him and settling in his weak body, clouding over the pain.

"I thought I would never see you again."

"Your nephew sent me a letter and I came as quick as I could. I was… I was afraid I would be…" tearing his gaze from the hobbit he swallowed as he felt the tears burning in his eyes.

"Late. But you are not." He smiled at him. "So I should thank Frodo for bringing you to me."

They were looking at each other taking in the fact that they were together. Finally he took the king´s hand in his squeezing it with all the strenght he had left.

_I love you, I swear that's true.__  
__I cannot live without you._

"I know we agreed we wouldn´t say anything about how we feel, but I have to…I need you to-"

"I love you" Thorin blurted out.

"I love you so much, Bilbo. I never thought I would love anyone as much as I love you. You are everything to me and I curse Mahal for not letting us spend our lives together. I would give you everything I have, everything in the world if you asked it of me because I know I will never love another." At the last words his voice broke, his head fell on the hobbit´s belly and he couldn´t hold the tears back any longer.

Bilbo´s face was wet from his own tears at Thorin´s confession. He put his hands on the king´s head and was stroking it gently and then kissed his forehead.

_You have been the one.__  
__You have been the one for me._

"I love you too, my king. With all my heart. I know you told me to start a new life, but how could I when it´s always been only you?"

Thorin took his hands in his and looked at him. There was nothing stopping him anymore. Nothing else mattered only him and his hobbit. After years of separation and denial he finally gave up and for the first time sealed their lips together. They were both crying, clutching at each other desperately, pouring all their love in the kisses. When they separated, Bilbo felt his eyelids growing heavy again.

"Will you hold me?"

Thorin didn´t hesitate and climbed on the bed to him. He pulled him to his chest and put his arms around him.

"Better?"

Bilbo hummed in agreement feeling content and happy just like in the dream.

_ I still hold your hand in mine.__  
__In mine when I'm asleep._

"You know, over the years I´ve still been dreaming about you." He said sleepily and snuggled closed to Thorin´s warm body. Suddenly he felt very cold.

"I´m here now, my hobbit. I´m here." He planted a kiss on his forehead and then in his hair. After a while he gently turned Bilbo´s face to him again. He was watching him from under his eyelashes looking so very tired. Thorin gave him a soft kiss on the lips and on both cheeks. He tried to make him look at him once more, but Bilbo´s eyes never opened again.

When Frodo entered the room after hearing loud sobs, he saw Thorin holding Bilbo´s lifeless body and crying into his hair.

_Goodbye my lover.__  
__Goodbye my friend._


End file.
